Let’s look at an example of paraphrased material.  In the paraphrase samples, you’ll notice that we’ve documented by including the author/year at the end of the passage.  Other documentation styles may employ a different technique.  Additionally, you’ll probably want to vary how you incorporate source material into your paper. 

Original passage:

Statements that seem complimentary in one context may be inappropriate in another. For example, women in business are usually uncomfortable if male colleagues or superiors compliment them on their appearance: the comments suggest that the women are being treated as visual decoration rather than as contributing workers. (p. 323)

---Locker, K. O. (2003). Business and administrative communication (6th ed.). St. Louis, MO: Irwin/McGraw-Hill.

Let’s first identify the important ideas in this passage:

·         Appropriateness of statements is situational.

·         Example is that working women may view compliments about appearance as offensive.

·         These compliments can be offensive because they may imply women are “decoration.”

Read the sample paraphrases below. For each of the paraphrases, determine if both wording and sentence structure were changed. Also check to see if all of the original points were included and if the original meaning was retained.  

Paraphrase A:

Words or expressions which appear favorable in one situation might be improper in a different situation. For instance, employed females are often uneasy when they are given positive comments on their looks. These remarks imply that the females are being viewed as adornment instead of as productive employees (Locker, 2003).

[Although this paraphrase does a good job of changing the wording, it is not effective for two main reasons. First, it follows the sentence structure of the original passage too closely. Second, it fails to mention anything about "male colleagues or superiors."  It also follows the same order or structure of ideas.]

Paraphrase B:

Some statements may be inappropriate in one context, even though they are complimentary in another. Compliments by male colleagues or superiors regarding a female coworker’s appearance, for example, often make the woman feel uncomfortable. Instead of treating the women as contributing workers, men obviously think of them as visual decoration (Locker, 2003).

[While this paraphrase does a better job of changing the sentence structure, it also is uneffective. It uses too many of the words from the original passage. Further, it changes the meaning when it declares that "men obviously think of them as visual decoration."  It also follows the same order or structure of ideas]

Paraphrase C:

Women may feel uneasy upon receiving ordinarily positive comments on their appearance from male coworkers or supervisors. To these women, the remarks carry an implied meaning: instead of being thought of as productive employees, they are actually being viewed as just a pretty part of the atmosphere. Depending on the situation, words or expressions which appear favorable may actually be unsuitable in a conversation (Locker, 2003).

[This paraphrase is the most effective. In addition to changing both the wording and sentence structure, it includes all points and retains the meaning of the original passage.  It also changes the order of ideas.]