Learn To
ParaphraseExample Paraphrases
Let’s look at an example of paraphrased material. In the paraphrase
samples, you’ll notice that we’ve documented by including
the author/year at the end of the passage. Other documentation styles
may employ a different technique. Additionally, you’ll probably
want to vary how you incorporate source material into your paper.
The handout “Signal
the Use of a Source” can give
you some ideas on integrating source material.
Original passage:
Statements that seem complimentary in one context may be inappropriate
in another. For example, women in business are usually uncomfortable
if male colleagues or superiors compliment them on their appearance:
the comments suggest that the women are being treated as visual decoration
rather than as contributing workers. (p. 323)
---Locker, K. O. (2003). Business and administrative communication (6th ed.). St. Louis, MO: Irwin/McGraw-Hill.
Let’s first identify the important ideas in this passage:
- Appropriateness of statements is situational.
- Example is that
working women may view compliments about appearance as offensive.
- These compliments can be offensive because they may imply women
are “decoration.”
Read the sample paraphrases below. For each of the paraphrases, determine
if both wording and sentence structure were changed. Also check to
see if all of the original points were included and if the original
meaning was retained.
Paraphrase A:
Words or expressions which appear favorable in one situation might
be improper in a different situation. For instance, employed females
are often uneasy when they are given positive comments on their looks.
These remarks imply that the females are being viewed as adornment
instead of as productive employees (Locker, 2003).
[Although this paraphrase does a good job of changing the wording,
it is not effective for two main reasons. First, it follows the sentence
structure of the original passage too closely. Second, it fails to
mention anything about "male colleagues or superiors." It
also follows the same order or structure of ideas.]
Paraphrase B:
Some statements may be inappropriate in one context, even though
they are complimentary in another. Compliments by male colleagues
or superiors regarding a female coworker’s appearance, for example,
often make the woman feel uncomfortable. Instead of treating the women
as contributing workers, men obviously think of them as visual decoration
(Locker, 2003).
[While this paraphrase does a better job of changing the sentence
structure, it also is uneffective. It uses too many of the words from
the original passage. Further, it changes the meaning when it declares
that "men obviously think of them as visual decoration." It
also follows the same order or structure of ideas]
Paraphrase C:
Women may feel uneasy upon receiving ordinarily positive comments
on their appearance from male coworkers or supervisors. To these women,
the remarks carry an implied meaning: instead of being thought of
as productive employees, they are actually being viewed as just a
pretty part of the atmosphere. Depending on the situation, words or
expressions which appear favorable may actually be unsuitable in a
conversation (Locker, 2003).
[This paraphrase is the most effective. In addition to changing both
the wording and sentence structure, it includes all points and retains
the meaning of the original passage. It also changes the order of
ideas.]
Next, you can test your understanding of paraphrasing by
completing
the exercises.
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